Emerald Catron
The Worst Commercials Starring the ‘Jersey Shore’ Cast
After five painfully long seasons, ‘Jersey Shore‘ will begin its sixth and final season this fall. Maybe it’s because Snooki had a baby and things are starting to get real. Maybe it’s because the ratings have started dropping and show no signs of stopping. Or maybe it’s because this show is terrible. Regardless, we thought we’d pay tribute by reminding you of some of the terrible commercials the s
Olympian Aly Raisman Turns Down Marriage Proposal, Keeps the Ring (Pop)
If you’re planning to win the hand of an Olympic gymnast who doesn’t even know you, it’s going to take a little bit more than some candy, we just learned. A fan got down on one knee (good start) and pulled out a Ring Pop (aaaand there it goes) before asking Aly Raisman if she would marry him. Mighty presumptuous of this guy, although, to be fair, she did take the candy.
Asking for Directions Left Beanie Baby Billionaire Tipping $20,000
Try not to get too depressed that the Beanie Baby guy is a billionaire — at least he’s using his money for good, rather than evil. Ty Warner recently gave a woman who was trying to raise money for a medical procedure $20,000 for giving him directions.
Michelle Obama’s Health Kick Hits Home — Bo Is On a Diet
When the First Lady says she’s serious about healthy food, the First Lady means she is serious about healthy food. Even the First Dog, Bo, is not beyond reproach, and, after packing on a few pounds, is now on a diet. Yes, the dog is on a diet.
Quadruple Amputee Swims Every Intercontinental Strait, Makes History
Well, we were feeling pretty proud of ourselves for finally looking up that Couch to 5k thing, but it’s going to take a little more than that to impress Phillippe Croizon. The quadruple amputee has made history by swimming intercontinental straits linking Oceania, Asia, Europe, America and Africa.
‘Chillax’ Named One of the Most Important Words in English Language
In other depressing news, an Honorary Professor of Linguistics has gone ahead and put “chillax” on the list of the 100 words that have helped define the English language throughout history. Lord help us all, we thought people only said it as a joke to make fun of the people who actually say it (who don’t actually exist, right?).