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Nicolas Cage Is A Vampire !

photo courtesy of

Yes, you read that right. Apparently Nicolas Cage is a VAMPIRE from 1870 and for just one million dollars on Ebay you can have the picture that some say proves it ! The man selling the photo claims Cage is not just a talented  actor from a Hollywood family , but a vampire who will rise up like a phoenix every few years, only to garner popular glory in whatever time period he lands.

Well, that leaves me with a few questions… Like why he would go through all the trouble of coming back from the dead if he wasn’t going to see to it he would have a few Oscar nominations or blockbuster movies ?? And the big question, how can he be a vampire and get his photo taken, thought they couldn’t be captured on film??? The only real explanation for the photo has to do with the Civil War.

The photo is billed as documenting a Civil War-era man who lived in Bristol, Tennessee. Found in album that contained “an unusual number of Civil War era death portraits,” the man in the picture was the only one not identified by name. Conspiracy!

Some Ebay shoppers think the real conspiracy comes from the guy trying to make a million on the photo and have some valid concerns.

If Nicolas Cage dies, thereby being proven to not be a vampire, do I get a refund?” and “will you hand-deliver anywhere in the universe?” and the comment-as-question “Nick Cage has aged terribly in the past 10 years, he’s obviously not been drinking his daily amount of blood to stay young” that results in an answer that expounds upon the Cage-as-vampire theory.

I guess we’ll never know since the photo has been pulled of the auction block on Ebay. Oh well, it’s still a great way to get ya in the mood for Halloween and to give Nicolas Cage a boost. Oh wait, maybe that is proof the photo’s legit…;)


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