The Apes invade Amarillo tomorrow.  How will you defend against these protesting primates? You can't pull their tail because they don't have one.

Hand to hand combat is out of the question, because they can choke the life out of you with one squeeze of their power ape hands!

You can't outsmart them because the 'virus' now enables their brain to think like a human brain, so, here they come down I-40, running right over the tops of cars to get to you.  How will you defend yourself?  Talk to me humans, how are we going to defend ourselves against these primeval primates?

Maybe lure them out of the theater with a big bucket of buttery popcorn!