I Finally Tried Pineapple Pizza. Everything About This Is Wrong.
Everything about pineapple pizza is wrong. Everything. There is no redeeming factor to this abomination.
People have varying tastes. To each his own, I usually say. This is the exception.
Who decided that this would be a fantastic idea? Tangy tomato sauce mixing with the sweet and tart flavor of pineapple turned out to be the stuff of nightmares.
After clearing my plate like a good boy, I took a second to think about the experience. The crust was fantastic. That's all the good I have to say.
Pineapple shouldn't be hot. It just shouldn't. Pineapple is best when slightly chilled, or at room temperature. Warming it with a pizza is blasphemy against pineapples and pizza.
It also ruins the texture of the pineapple. Pineapple shouldn't have the consistency of a jello mold.
The war of flavors that took place in my mouth has left me trembling. The tangy, tart, sweet, cheesy assault on my taste buds was a shock. Plus, it was hot. The heat from being a freshly made slice of pizza really sent me over the edge.
If you love pineapple on your pizza, God bless you and keep you. I'll pass. You can have it all. Every last abysmal slice.
Just please, don't show up to the company pizza party with more than enough for yourself.