Open Letter To the Creepy Clowns In Amarillo
This creepy clown thing has to stop...
So we decided to write a letter that might dissuade them from continuing their tyranny over our town.
Dear clowns… greetings and salutations from Amarillo, Texas.
Normally, we welcome visitors with open arms when they visit our fair city, but in this case… it’s a little different. We hate to go all ‘Donald Trump’ on y’all, but we are meeting with Mayor Paul Harpole ASAP to see if we can build a wall around Amarillo to keep your kind out. (No, it’s not because you have a red nose, this isn’t a color issue.) We just believe we have enough to worry about in Amarillo. There’s so much construction being done to our roads lately and the last thing we need is to be rubber necking while we’re driving just because we see you holding a sign that says, ‘Free Hugs.’ I mean, don’t you know we are in a hurry to get to the newest restaurant in town to stand in line for an hour just to forget about the place in 3 weeks? That’s really the kind of insensitivity that gives y’all a bad name… Don’t you think you should have pity on us? I mean, when we walk outside in the morning, it smells like manure. Do you really think we need you running around terrorizing us when we live in a place that smells like cow poop? Talk about kicking a man (or woman) when he (or she) is down. I don’t think we are asking for much here. We’re not trying to put you out of a job. We are just suggesting that you go somewhere else… like Lubbock.
Thanks for understanding.
P.S. We hate you.
What would you say to the clowns of Amarillo? Comment below!