I Can’t Believe I’m Saying This, But Leave Jason Collier Alone
Yes, Jason "The Coffeemaker" Collier is engaged. Yes, I've seen the screenshots and the Facebook groups. Yes, I'm aware of every single rumor swirling around the whole debacle. And that's why I'm telling you to leave Jason Collier alone.
You heard me. Leave Jason Collier alone. Leave him aloooooooooooone.
Did I ever personally think I would ever be writing a post like this? Absolutely not.
And that's exactly why you should hear me out.
I've Been There Since Day One
Listen. I was there when the magic started. The day that Jason Collier and his coffeemaker broke the internet, I was there. My motley crew of DJs and myself have been enthusiastic shadows to the infamous former police chief of Stinnett, Texas.
When he wrote the book that told his side of the story, we searched high and low for a kindle gift card so we could review it. When he went on the Dr. Phil show, we called a mandatory staff meeting so all of us could watch it. His sentencing for the forged divorce papers? Oh yeah, we were on it.
We even put together a 1-year anniversary post to commemorate our patron saint of time management's big day.
Look, I even make dumb little memes and collages to pop into a story that references Stinnett or Jason Collier (and before you ask, yes--the city of Stinnett probably hates my guts, but they can go ahead and get in line with everyone else).
Simply put, Jason Collier could not fart without one of us writing a story on it. Period.
It's Time To Let Jason Collier Go
The second Jason Collier proposed, I smelled it in the air. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw the status update. And much to my gleeful delight, all the dormant Facebook groups dedicated to Jason Collier sprung back to life.
I was on cloud nine, it was like I had a second chance at re-living the best day of my life. Until it got weird. Somewhere along the line, the focus shifted from Collier to the people who definitely shouldn't be on the receiving end of a public feeding frenzy: the woman with the ring on her finger and Jason Collier's children.
Just from the posts I've seen in the social media groups, the poor woman who he proposed to has been bombarded by a crowd of strangers ready to criticize the bejesus out of her during what's supposed to be the happiest time of her life.
But what did it for me was when Collier's children were brought into the mix. And it was definitely overboard.
I let out an actual cheer when I saw Collier's ex-wife step in and stick up for her children. Get 'em Mama Bear.
And that's the story on how I've been convinced to change my ways. I have decided to let go of Jason "The Coffeemaker" Collier, the god of Time Management. And I suggest the rest of you do the same.
Think about it......We are the equivalent of Jason Collier's paparazzi, and if the paparazzi is saying "leave him alone", don't you think things might be getting a little out of hand?
But in the mean time, check out the best Jason Collier memes below.